Teen Mom Q&A

I was 16 when we conceived and 17 when we found out.   

I told my mom by buying a “Best Grandma Ever” mug and printing out an ultrasound to put in a gift bag. I put the bag on the stove and locked myself in the bathroom, then I told her to open her gift. Let’s just say I was terrified to tell her! It was much easier to tell my dad, I basically just said it in a casual conversation. I forget the exact words I used but it wasn’t anything special. I made him promise not to tell anyone. When I told my mom, she was initially shocked and actually didn’t believe me, she didn’t even know I had a boyfriend so one of her first questions was about who the father was. She had to leave so we talked when she came back from the store, she wasn’t mad at all, just scared. I was expecting her to be livid, maybe even kick me out. Instead we both just cried and she told me she supported me no matter what. I actually only told my mom because we had a trip planned to a waterpark that day and I knew she’d be confused when we got there and I wouldn’t go on anything. My dad was pretty chill when I told him, but I also only really had a relationship with him starting when I was 14. All in all, it wasn’t that bad telling them! The weeks that I kept the pregnancy a secret were way harder.   

I was terrified. My biggest fear was about telling my mom and my boyfriend, but I was also really nervous about how I was going to finish school. I freaked out in the bathroom for like 10min before I went to tell my boyfriend he was going to be a daddy. I kept calling my best friend hoping that she would pick up even though it was late, I needed her to tell me what to do. Before I peed on the test I thought “oh I'll just get an abortion”, as soon as I saw the positive test I knew I couldn’t - in that moment I knew I was raising the baby no matter what. It’s honestly the scariest thing ever finding out that you’re a teen mom. 

I wanted to go to a University about 5-6h away from home to be a psychologist.   

I’m going to our local college this fall and taking the social service worker program. The end goal is to work with broken families, young moms, families on social assistance or possibly the elderly. My mind isn’t completely made up so I'm glad we have placements through the college. I’m always thinking of ways to incorporate my passions into my career goals so I'm also considering taking a course to be a certified lactation consultant. These are obviously very different plans than my pre-baby plans but I'm happy about the changes.  

Things haven’t always been easy but we’re making it work. After my son was born, I didn’t want to be around his father at all, I had temporarily lost feelings for him. I’m pretty sure this was just because I was so overwhelmed and focused my love on our son. We had only been together about 7 months when we found out I was pregnant so we honestly didn’t know each other that well. We’re basically still trying to get to know each other while raising a baby, so obviously we’re going to hit bumps in the road. We both have so much love for each other but we can be very stubborn so it’s not always easy coming to an agreement. Our relationship overall is very good, but I'd be lying if I said it was easy to stay together after having a baby. Having a child together is a huge change and learning curve.  

Yes, my primary residence is my mom's house. We also regularly stay at my son’s father’s house. Basically, we spend week days at my mom's while Noah’s dad is at work and then weekends at his dads. Sometimes we spend a week or two at his dads as well. It gets really difficult doing the back and forth all the time but it’s worth it. This way we can save a bit of money and prepare financially and mentally before leaving my mom's. I wish I was ready to move out but I think it’ll take a bit more time before we make that change.   

I think the hardest part about being a teen mom is needing to finish school/go to college, get a vehicle, find work, etc all while raising a baby. This is a time in your life where you should be able to figure things out and choose what you want to do, instead you have to rush and stress over every decision you make because it now involves a child. I can’t just focus on college when I get there and that scares me, I can’t just save up for a car because I have a child to pay for, I can’t just find work because my son is breastfed and won’t take a bottle – it also isn’t easy figuring out childcare. Everything that a teen/ young adult is stressed over is amplified by 100 when you bring a child into the mix.   

Another really hard part of being a teen mom is having so many people look down on you and assume you don’t know anything. I regularly have people treat me like I know nothing, when in fact I usually do days and weeks of research before I decide on anything that involves my family.   

No, I’m currently a stay at home mom and I'll be attending college in the fall. I’ve been casually searching for at home jobs though, so if any come up than maybe I'll start working again. My maternity leave only ended about two weeks ago. Noah is hard to leave with someone else because he refuses to take a bottle and is a total mamas boy, it breaks my heart to even consider leaving him right now.  

Nope! I actually gained friends. I didn’t have many close friends pre-baby anyways, but my best friend has stuck around and I also got a bunch of mom friends! One was already a friend but we’ve gotten closer and 2 I've gotten close to over the fact that we all cloth diaper and have kids very close in age. The friends I've made since becoming a mom have been amazing. Nobody from school reaches out to us anymore but I didn’t expect them to. 

My relationship with family is pretty great – me and my mom butt heads a lot but at the end of the day we’re always good. I know a few older family members are still upset that I'm a teen mom but I have a good relationship with them too. Having a baby definitely changed things but we all still have the same relationship as before.  

Of course. This is a question I get A LOT. I never know how to answer because I truly do love being a mom and I would never go back and change having my son because I love him too much. This doesn’t mean that I disregard how much easier things would be if I waited till I was out of college with a steady career. I think being a mom is a huge adjustment no matter how old you are, but it would’ve been nice to have planned a child and know that we were 100% ready financially and mentally. I will work my ass off to make sure Noah has everything he needs and more, but I know that I could be doing even more for him if I was already out of school and making good money.  

My tummy is flabby and full of stretchmarks, my booty has disappeared and I feel like I've lost A LOT of muscle mass – None of this matters though, I grew a baby inside my body! My body is capable of incredible things and it’s constantly amazing me. I gained about 15-20lbs while pregnant and lost 85lbs in the first 4 months postpartum, this rapid weight loss caused me to start having issues with my gallbladder (I'll be having it removed in February). Another health issue that’s come up is that I'm in constant pain and lose feeling in my limbs – none of this happened pre-baby so I'm assuming it ties back to just having a baby.  

We don’t all love drama, we don’t all use mainstream parenting techniques (chemical products, formula, etc) and we don’t all have money like the moms on teen mom! That doesn’t mean we’re all broke, but I feel like they glorify teen moms on tv – it's not easy being a teen mom.  

We can be really amazing moms, just give us a chance – I promise we aren’t all trashy and deadbeats like the way the internet and memes portray us.  

Maybe one more in like 5 years, we had a traumatic birth experience so I'm pretty turned off about having another child.

I wish someone would’ve warned me about doctors taking advantage of young mothers so that I could’ve learned to advocate for myself in labour and delivery.  

Stop messing around with boys, make great girlfriends and focus on school. Spend time with your family, travel, save money, don’t drink/do drugs/party and just enjoy being young. Growing up isn’t fun at all. You have plenty of time to party, mess around with guys and grow up when you’re in your 20’s - everyone wants to grow up too quickly these days.  

We breastfeed and cloth diaper! I couldn’t imagine paying for formula or diapers that would be thrown away. The average person saves about 2k by doing cloth diapers!  

So many things! Most of them are unrelated to my age though... just things like how hard it is to shower with a screaming baby in your arms, or how impossible it is to put an upset kid into their 5 point harness car seat. Maybe it would’ve been nice to know that the older moms at the mommy & me stuff would give me dirty looks and treat me like I was an immature middle schooler who knew nothing. I’ll probably write up a separate blog to get into this.  

Definitely! Babies aren’t always that hard. The first few weeks was brutal and we have a few nights now that are hard, but for the most part being a mom is pretty simple. Just keep your baby fed, clean, happy and warm and you’re pretty much set. People make it seem like it’s hard 24/7 but you just have to look at the positives in each day. For example: “My baby kept me up all night breastfeeding” - Your baby is fed and happy, you got to admire them for a few extra hours, your body made nutrients to feed a child! - Just keep your mind on the positives and being a mom will be simple.